I am all about women building each other up, and young women stepping out and sharing uplifting messages to everyone. It’s my jam. A lot of people ask me how I can be so positive all the time. First of all, I am not, but I am a pretty good cheerleader. Even when I am not feeling 100% I am usually on the sidelines ready to cheer YOU on. Trust me, I spend more than my share of time in self-pity central station. Choo-choo, y’all.
But, one thing that I DO practice is not listening to messages or books that trigger negative feeling or anxieties, and I make it a point to listen to positive, affirmative talks, pod casts, books, and blogs.
One pod cast I picked up recently is Sadie Robertson’s Whoa, That’s Good. Pod Cast. I love Sadie, but normally, her messages brink on a bit young for me. However, now that she is becoming a new mom, I feel all the feels listening to her talk about how excited she is about her new baby girl. She also delivered a talk on comparison at this year’s IF Gathering Conference. Two concepts that I heard between these two platforms go so beautifully together, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Sadie Rob said during her talk at IF Gathering, in reference to how we (as women, because it’s a women’s conference) compare ourselves to each other, “You will always be a lesser version of her. You can only live in the fullness of you.”
At first I thought, dang, that was a heavy start to this talk, but then she went on to explain that being a lesser version of “her”, whoever “she” is to you, isn’t a bad thing. If anyone were to try to copy you, they would end up being a lesser version of you too. Her point being, we can never be equal to someone else, because we are all created to be our own person. The only thing we can be, is the BEST version of ourselves. Sadie really got my gears turning. I thought to myself, “What does that look like for me? What does living in the fullness of myself look like?”
Usually, in blogs, especially inspirational ones like this, people give you a snip-bit of advice, but I have to tell you, I can’t tell you what living into the fullness of YOU looks like or how to do it. I can tell you what I think it looks like to me, and how I make choices as often as I can to try to live into that space. Your life, and your season of life, might be drastically different than mine. I think the point of this blog post is “that’s okay.” I want to say, right from the beginning, if you are challenged by this question too, take sometime to think about it, journal it, bring it up to your therapist if you have one (I do, and I did) and hash this question out, because I think it is a good one to ponder on an individual level.
Living in the fullness of me:
- Not making excuses: I am an excuse monster, and I talk myself out of a lot of things. Most of the time, I have to purposefully, and thoughtfully remind myself of my commitments to myself and other people and have a strong follow through. Living in the fullness of me, looks like being dependable to other people, and to myself.
- Taking care of my body: This one is not fun. Actually, most of the things that living into the BEST of who I am, they challenge me to keep being better, because I am not done. I can never put down the idea of taking care of my body, because my body is in my care until it’s not. In the past, I have put this idea down more times than I am proud of, but now that I have found what works for me, I am a lot better at making this happen. It took a lot of building habits I didn’t have before, and it still takes willpower for reasons I will share in another blog.
- Being a good example of the things I expect from my kids: If I want my kids to know how to control their emotions, I have to find what works for me to control my own. How can I feel my feelings, and productively channel them in a way to where they are not controlling the situation, I am? As my yoga instructor, and friend Maria says, “My emotions can get on the bus with me, but they can’t drive the bus.” She rides a bus, I ride the Hot Mess Express. Choo-choo, again, y’all.
- Being present: This is also challenging for me. As someone who likes to do everything all at the same time, my brain is always going a million mph. This for me, means carving out time in every day where my face isn’t glued to a screen. Ambition these days is vehemently tied to technology. I hate it, but it’s life. So, for everyone’s sanity, I need to stop and listen purposefully and intentionally. My faith and practicing my faith helps me a great deal in most of these areas, but especially this one.
- Finding confidence even when I don’t feel it: This one ties into a message I heard from Tim Tebow’s wife Demi when she and Tim where guests on Sadie’s pod cast. Demi said that she has to work at not washing off her confidence when she washes off her make-up at night. For me, this means accepting these truths: I am not what I wear, I am not what I eat, I am not reduced to a break-out on my chin, or a bad hair cut. I am so much more than that. I forget all the time, that most people who are positively impacted by me are not impacted by my appearance, but they are impacted by who I show them I am by my actions, words, and thoughts. If I want to exude confidence, I have to change what gives me confidence. Confidence is NOT tangible. It’s not in a make-up palette, it’s not in a jar of protein powder, or something I can search for on YouTube or Netflix. Confidence comes from your soul.
Do I have to live into every piece of me exactly the same amount? No.
Are some pieces of me going to be stronger, better than other parts? Yes.
Are the weaker parts bad? No.
Are the stronger parts good? Not always.
How to find balance with it all? You don’t. You just try your best to be your best. That’s all you can do, and you have to CHOOSE to do it every day. Some days, you will choose not to, and that is okay.
Will these parts of me change overtime? Yes.
Does living in the fullness of myself account for the growth that will happen? If you really dig out what YOU need to be full, I believe with all my heart, if you are being honest with what you need, these things will be challenging. Spaces where we challenge ourselves are spaces big enough to allow room for growth.
I hope this finds you well. Thanks for stopping by and reading.
Leave a comment below. Were you challenged by Sadie’s message? What things do you do or wish you did that fill you up?